[d]ream ~ weave[r]

2009-01-21T01:17:00.008+08:00

I'm having a bad day. I don't feel like talking. I just whine. This is my blog. I have the right to.

I had driving lesson in the circuit today. And for some reasons, my instructor gets especially touchy and kan cheong whenever we're in the circuit. I shall not go into details. So I got really really irritated with him but I managed to contain it and only talked back to him ONCE. And I didn't actually sound impolite so it wasn't even that bad of me to express my frustrations. Other than that I just took it all in and yeah him for all his complains and naggings. What a bad start to my day and I got moody after I got back to hall, on top of feeling so tired for having to wake up so early. I tried to recuperate by reading Eclipse instead of NM2219 until I fell asleep. I did feel slightly better after that but then it was time to go for dance in the evening.

I still had my half-open wounded knee and I thought since I won't be able to do some of the steps and might have to just sit out during practice, I can use my time better if I don't go. But if I don't go, I might need to catch up more stuffs this week. And they might be choosing some new dancers for the senior's Peranakan dance piece for the showcase in 2 weeks. So with that final reason, I managed to drag myself to dance practice at UCC.

Dance practice was alright. But I was feeling quite lethargic and not doing full-out. At around 8pm, the seniors went through a few sets from the Peranakan piece they taught last week, which I wasn't there to learn. But it was okay since there were a few who didn't learn also. And they decided to start choosing the new dancers today. I did my best to learn and portray the character they requested, because I wanted to be chosen since it will be a good experience to dance alongside the year 3s for the showcase at Fort Canning, which will be on 6 Feb. The only ALMOST-good thing that happened to me today was that I was one of the 5 girls chosen for the showcase. I said almost because then came the problem of rehearsals and the actual day of performance itself. IF I go for the showcase, which will be on a Friday, I will have to miss 2 non-webcasted lectures, for the SECOND week in a row. Because I will skip it for Chingay performance that's going to be held on the Friday and Saturday before 6 Feb. Then I thought maybe I might want to give the Friday show a miss and just do Chingay on Saturday. But no, I decided that I could not because of some girl.

All's not over yet. When I came back to hall and turn on my laptop to check for the second round of tutorial balloting for the modules which I wasn't allocated during the first round, they notified me that I didn't get the PL3235 tutorial which I (as an ABSOLUTE last resort) chose on my free day. So what am I supposed to do now? Since all 4 available slots have no vacancy, I get to pass the module without class participation right? Okay thanks.
And I haven't got over the fact that SUCKY tutorial balloting due to its VERY limited time slots for PL2131 and competition for the one of the MANY MANY SE1101 slots had made my very FREE thurdays to a much dreaded tutorial day.

So after I bathed, I went to Ethelyn's room to lament a bit about my day. I felt slightly better after getting things off my chest. Then we started surfing the net together. So i was sharing the chair with her in front of her desk when I felt something brushing my thigh. I thought it was a strand of hair that's making me itchy. So I glanced down and saw a round brown THING and my first instinct was to slap it. And then my second reaction was to flick it away as far as possible. When it fell on the floor, I watched the thing as it struggled and squirmed, wishing its ligaments to join back together. And then I realized that a bloody freaking COCKROACH just crawled on my leg!!! UUUGGGHHHHH!!!!! YUCKS!!!! As if my day wasn't bad enough, that disgusting thing had to make it worse!! Even a creepy crawlie won't let me off. The worst possible things after lizards that can crawl on you has got to be cockroaches. I got the worst twice before and now this! UGH!!

I'm having a bad day. And let's just hope my good fortune that I HAD a bad day. Surely it won't get any worse. Please don't.

2009-01-07T23:01:00.004+08:00

I enjoy being a loner once in a while.
And that's when my iPod becomes my best friend in times of boredom.

I walked the streets of Orchard today, into various shops, just browsing aimlessly all on my own.
Looking at whatever I wanted for however long I can, with my trusty iPod securely plugged to assure me that I'm not alone. Not that I minded. But with some background music, it makes me less conscious that I'm shopping alone, which come to think of it, seems pretty pathetic. BUT. It's rather relaxing to go at my own pace and without the need to consider the other party.

The initial plan was to go shopping with Ethelyn but she wasn't feeling up to it today. So i went on ahead with my own plans: to look for a nice 2009 planner, browse through Borders and Kino, sit down at a cafe to read my books, people-watch and think about life.

So I sat down at Paragon Coffee Bean and progressed about 90+ pages of 'Marley and Me' in 2h 15 mins thereabouts. A pretty good pace for undisturbed leisure reading.

I really should know my own standards of reading speed. I barely struggled to finish 'Marley and Me' so that I can quickly go on and finish 'New Moon' before the new semester begins, along with all the readings that will start piling up; within 4 days, to be exact. But I couldn't resist an Archie comics sale when I see one. 3 for $10! Costs $5.90 per book at its usual price. But knowing me, I will probably not regulate the supply of comics over a healthy period of time.

Shucks. I'm falling sick again. And I thought a recent recovery from it will indicate immunity for a decent 6 months. I should probably go sleep now and nurse myself back to health. Can't afford to fall sick now that the new sem is starting. :\

2008-12-26T19:57:00.013+08:00

TJ dancers gathering today at marina square. Most of them still looked the same but there had been many changes and updates in their lives. Schools and majors are vastly different. Sharon just got back from US a few days ago, Fanny had on her pre-braces metal thingy in her mouth which I commented looked like little Willy Wonka's dental devices, if you'd watched the movie. lol. :p But the most interesting of all are the newly attached girls like Meng Ai and Andrea. haha.. Interesting because they had been single from the time I knew them till now. Somehow, there is a different sort of aura about them now. Which is kind of new to me. :)
So we had lunch at Waraku, took photos and walked around. And I bought a copy of Twilight book which I got hooked on pretty quickly. The girls were saying how disappointing the movie was. Like I always said, one should always watch the movie before reading the book just so you won't be disappointed by the flick. Because very rarely will the movie outshine the book itself since the movie-makers have to omit certain parts of the book to fit its contents within a limited time span of the movie. And I find it easier to imagine and identify with the characters after having watched the movie.
If I wasn't carrying a gi-normous duffel bag from the stayover at Clement's house the previous night, I would have been able to continue shopping with them. So I went home at 5 plus and I got started on my new book earlier. :)

Marlene said I should not abandon my blog so she'd know what's been going on in my life. Thanks Mar for being such a loyal reader of my blog that you were the first person to tag my board upon a silent revival of a pathetic entry after a thousand year hiatus. Yup. So I've decided that I should restart my blogging once again. Afterall, it would be such a waste to stop a blog which I'd diligently updated from almost 4 years ago. Memories should constantly be created and recorded lest one forgets. And especially so in my case, since I'm not very good at remembering significant events.

Its the end of the year. So let's try a point-form quick summary of my very happening 2008, which happens to be the most eventful year of my life to date.

. Spent new year in Korea .
. Got a job as an airport guide .
. Worked as data entry at E-Three Bizsolutions .
. Quit my job as an airport guide .
. Worked as an ad hoc relief receptionist at HSBC Insurance .
. Latin dance lessons at Shawn and Glady's .
. Release of A'level results .
. 2 months of fretting whether I'll be able to get into NUS FASS .
. Practices and performance for our alumni dance item at TJC Reverie IV dance concert .
. Passed Basic Theory, started driving for the first time ever .
. Cambodia Mission Trip .
. FASS discretionary admission interview with the professors .
. Attended ballet lessons for the first time .
. Tutoring Nathan .
. My 19th birthday with SACC youths after dance practice for youth sunday.
. Got a job at Starhub Roadshow .
. Quit after 2 days of work cos it sucked .
. Successful application into FASS!!
. Church camp at Port Dickson .
. Sheares Exposure Camp Committee; which is actually a camp, really. not a committee .
. Arts Camp .
. Realized that tanned skin isn't for me .
. Campus Crusade camp: Fixed On Christ .
. Choreographed a youth dance item for Youth Sunday service .
. Bangkok trip with Ethelyn, Joanne and Amelia .
. Quit my job at E-Three .
. Hall life starts at Sheares Block A Room 305.
. Matriculation fair .
. Arts O-Week .
. Got my own first laptop: Lenovo Thinkpad T400 .
. Choosing university modules; a sense of loss yet, newness and excitement .
. NUS Dance Synergy .
. Sheares Lorry Supper; stranded along the expressway at 4 in the morning .
. Passed Final Theory .
. My god-niece's first month celebration .
. Organized a hall-wide night cycling event with Sheares Link .
. Chingay Wearable Arts exhibition at Night Safari .
. Move out of hall day; experienced hall-sickness for the first time .
. Synergy Dance Camp at Raffles Hall; makes me appreciate Sheares Hall so much more .
. SACC 2nd Youth Camp: Heroes 2008 .
. Youth Leadership Retreat .

That's a pretty concise summary of a year's activity, if I do say so myself. Compare that with 2007's which will pretty much consist of study, study and study. Indeed, pre and during-University life has been very happening. 2008 has taught and exposed me to a lot of things which I haven't been able to learn for the past 18 years of my life. Some reflections to sum up the events in 2008:

Firstly, thank God for giving me what I desire: NUS FASS plus hall plus many other camps and activities which I can then go for. I feared not getting into Uni but now, I'm given a truly enjoyable Uni life. :)
Secondly, the Lord guiding me into leadership: the dance choreography in which I had to teach and lead 30 youths who had no previous experience and then the role of a group leader during the youth camp. Most would have known that I'm not the kind with strong leadership qualities and had never had significant leadership contributions. I was quite happy to stay that way. But lately, I've seen the detrimental effects of satisfying myself within my own comfort zone. I haven't told this to anyone before but the Lord knows. So I want to thank God for giving opportunities and teaching me to grow in leadership.
Thirdly, His protective hand that kept me safe throughout the year. In particular, my overseas trips to Korea, Cambodia and Thailand. The Bangkok trip especially, since there were only the 4 of us and thankfully, no riots arose then.
Lastly, He continues to protect me from negative influences and giving me sensibility and guidances in making decisions.

A time of growth, new experiences and lessons, and VERY evidently, God's grace and blessing in my life. :)))

2008-12-24T17:13:00.003+08:00

i never expected that spamming grey's anatomy drama serials would eventually come in useful.

i woke up at 7.30am this stormy morning. my sis and me were supposed to bring my wheelchair-bound grandma to the polyclinic to clean her wound after having amputated her toe last week. it was the first time we took care of grandma on our own. usually mummy is the one who brings her to the hospital periodically for more medicine. it wasn't easy maneuvering the wheelchair and the rain didn't help save the situation. but what was most difficult is to watch as they undid the dressing to reveal the amputated feet. and for the first time in my life, i was faced with raw flesh underneath the skin. it was horrible. my sis freaked out. but i just watched on, because one of us had to learn how to dress the wound. and it was heartbreaking when grandma moaned in pain.

maybe i won't understand her agony. but i can feel her insecurity and the constant need for my sis and me to be in her line of vision. not being able to walk about freely, to be confined in the house, time to her, holds little value as she watch and wishes for the day to pass by swiftly. i won't be able to withstand the loneliness. maybe it comes with the mentality of an old person, which makes it all less unbearable.
but amidst all that, there is at least one good thing for grandma, that grandpa is alive and well. and that for one, is a very fortunate thing indeed.

2008-12-23T22:42:00.003+08:00

of all the requests that i may have prayed for and was answered but forgotten, this is one i wished to remember and track its teachable moments.

i didn't think i'd be able to get it since the decision pended for quite a while. but thank You for giving it to me when i least expected it. now, with another tuition job, maybe i'll be able to save up more money. God had impressed on my heart to save up and contribute to my own hall accommodation fees. and now He has provided a way for me to do just that. recently, there's so much to support and cope with, i simply cannot just leave it to mummy to provide for it all. what with grandma's latest need for medical financial support, i should be more independent. more independent than what my past experiences has already moulded me to become.

because i cannot imagine how university life would be like, from where would i get my motivation to study without hall, and how i can be happy without dancing. on top of that, my commitments in church, and to get decent academic grades. well, i just hope to be able to cope and leave it up to God to pave the way.

Sanstav Paul. a familiar name that rings a bell. he's a schoolmate back in tj. and today, as i was reviewing the entire list of requests at facebook, there is this group request: May u rest in peace, Sanstav Paul. and i found out that he died in a plane crash while training as a pilot in Arizona. i'm just so saddened by this news. 19 year old. a brilliant student with a bright future. and his life just ended so suddenly. all that he had worked so hard for had to be stopped. indeed, he died doing what he loved, that is flying. but sometimes i do wonder, what one might think and feel after his/her life has ended. because i'm sure one's consciousness don't just cut off right when the heart stops beating. because there is a soul in every body and mind which is able to transcend the physical state. satisfied because they have fulfilled all their wishes and dreams? or regret for not making decisions which might make them feel happier? and where do you go after life on earth has passed away? God promised eternal life to those who receive Him as their personal God and saviour and to become his disciple by following His ways. but what about the lukewarm Christians? where will they go? what about the babies who die at birth, who never got the chance to learn and understand spoken words, much less the gospel?
i guess God has His ways. His judgement is beyond us. which is why He is God. because we cannot put Him in a box nor understand everything about Him.

this christmas, i wish for resolutions to be fulfilled, relationships to be mended and built, and be less laidback as a person.

2008-05-24T22:19:00.005+08:00

this blog has been abandoned for such a long time. and i told myself that i will revive it when i have the inspiration to blog. and now its here, my testimony and thanksgiving to God.
the reason why i'm doing this through a blog is because i couldn't do it better in speech. i figured that by writing it down will i do justice to the grace that God had showered in my life. i have been penning down my journey of faith in my diary and here, i will relate to you what i have experienced.

i have been accepted into NUS Faculty of Arts and Social Sciences through discretionary admission. because my results did not make the cut, i got in through my cca achievements, other activities and through the submission of an essay, which granted me an interview with fass. this would mean that i'm competing for the 10 percent of the places in the faculty and to me, i thought it was rather pressurising to have my future educational experiences depending on my portfolio and the interview with the professors. and i find it especially hard because i'm not a very outspoken person and when i'm intimidated, i will just keep quiet, or have little to say, which doesn't put you in a good light during an interview. so i prayed long and hard for strength and peace from God as i face the interview. most importantly, for His will be done and i can be assured if His will for me is to be successful in what is to come.

and i want to thank God for the people who have helped me in one way or another.

for Xuen. whose words made me to go on ahead with the discretionary admission application when i initially didn't want to do it because it was too troublesome.

for Emily, who edited and proof-read my essay section in the discretionary admission application.

for Amelia, who helped clear my doubts on writing portfolio.

for Joanne, who gave me directions on how to get to the interview venue, her prayers and her constant advice.

for Xinling and her constant advice too.

for Claudia, who gave me a mock interview practice and her messages of encouragement and verses from the bible the night before my interview.

for William and Lydia, who wrote recommendation letters for me despite a really short notice amidst their other commitments. initially i expected just one, but i got two letters instead. =)

and lastly, for all those who have prayed for me. if you haven't, just being happy for me is more than enough. =)

before i sound like i'm delivering some thank you speech after receiving a star award, i would like to highlight that it was God who paved this road for me. He blessed me with these people who helped me reach up to this point. this is what i realized through this whole experience. God could have just put me into the course without the discretionary admission and the nerve-wrecking interview. but it was only through this whole process did i experience Christ and learning to truly cherish the grace that God had shown me.

let me talk about my interview for a bit. the two professors were curious about my involvement in church and they asked some questions about what my church is like and my past mission trips to cambodia. their subsequent questions were mainly concerns as to whether i'll be able to juggle schoolwork and other activities. initially i was worried that they may reject me because of my involvement in church, which may cause me have lesser time for studies. but i'm really glad that i honoured God with my ministries and in that interview room because He gave me what i desired. =)

and i am thankful that this door that God had opened for me is just what i have always wanted, which is a bonus. because sometimes, what you want may not be what God plans for you. by learning to trust in Him that He will give nothing but the best and committing your ways unto Him, will He prosper you. this may sound pretty layman and basic, like what we always listen to in sunday service. but it took me years to grasp this knowledge and to really practice it out. its not to say that i have total understanding of it, but i'm still learning as i go along. because i used to try and take a lot of things into my own hands. it was just recently did i experience that there is only so much that we can do. but God can achieve so much more, if you are willing to place it in His hands.

i told God that if it is His will, let me get into fass. and i will really try to get my priorities right this time and in return for His goodness, i will testify of His love and grace in my life. yup. so here it is. enjoy. =)

2008-01-09T21:36:00.000+08:00

hello i'm back from hiatus and finally into blogging!! it had been a very eventful month indeed. =)

4th dec: tjc prom night [starlight romance]
personally, i didn't really enjoy it. not all the photos with me. my camera had to run out of battery even before I started using it. :\ still waiting for yihui to transfer all the zi lian photos. even so, i won't be uploading those so these are all that i'll be posting. :P

20th dec: SACC's first Celebrate Christmas in Singapore (CCIS) at ngee ann city.
with items put up by the choir, chinese congre dance of course, the youth dancers with the dance, angelis choreographed by grace. =) we, the angels along with our wings were almost like mascots that day. everybody were taking pictures of/with us. haha..

25-28th dec: shopping trip in bangkok
with my sister and her friends. out of the 7 of us, 4 are teachers, 1 banker, 1 who works in a medical lab and lastly, me, the loserish jc graduate. haha. but it was kinda fun though. we went pahtpong (wrong spelling), the red light district in bangkok at night. and for one night, we had a thai friend bring us around after dinner (setting off at 11pm) to shop at the local night market, visit the monument of the king and to eat the number one phadthai in bangkok till 2am. considering the fact that he's a total stranger, he had been very hospitable and friendly. very rare indeed.

29th dec: starstruck
kudos to the decor team! =)

30-6th jan: korea
2 words: cold and fun!!!

the biggest takeaway from this trip is that i learnt how to SKI!!! how cool is that? haha. i must now frequent snow city to practice skiing should i forget my skills one day. i mastered skiing within a span of 2 hours and managed to ski on a slope approximately 2-3 storeys high. okay i'm so proud of myself. :P however, skiing is not without falling down and crashing into people and skis. i was screaming excuse me to the people in my way whom i couldn't avoid with my inability to turn but most couldn't understand english at all. my knee is still aching from the fall. and i got crashed into by a snowboarder. skiing boots and skis weigh a ton. imagine having to haul those 2 items plus the stick and journey up the slope for 5-10 mins before sliding down again in 20 seconds. but given the fact that its a once in a lifetime opportunity to ski on a real snowy mountain, i thought it was worth it and kept going at it for 3 hours. haha. i believe i developed muscles from it.

this trip is definitely an eye-opener with its temperature that ranges from -9 to 0 degree, witnessing the falling snow, snow covered pathways, ice-capped mountains and the endless atlantic ocean (unlike in singapore where the trawlers and ships block boundaries between the sky and sea). korea is definitely a place with breath-taking sights and beautiful people.

[pictures to be uploaded at a later date]

officially employed as an orange airport guide. but not officially deployed to a particular terminal yet due to the inefficiency of some employment agency which i shall not name. their lack of ability in proper staff, training and schedule management resulting in a loss of time, money and resources.

now playing: orisha feat heather headley - representing, cuba from the soundtrack of dirty dancing havana nights

2007-12-09T01:36:00.000+08:00

to date, so many people have asked me knowingly,"your exams over already right?"

okay. besides from the obvious evidence of my red highlights, one commented that it is because i look more cheerful now. that's funny. did i appear very depressed a while back? haha.

perhaps the quality of life reflects on my face. i'm enjoying this heidonistic life right now. however, according to the law of diminishing utility, the level of satisfaction decreases as the enjoyment of the good increases. in addition to the fact that everybody is in a mad rush to look for jobs, increasing the personal awareness that i'm part of Singapore's almost non-existent unemployment rate (defined as: the number of workers who are willing and able to work but are without jobs), i feel compelled to cut short my merry days.

but i still want to stick to my principles of getting a highly paid part-time job (i.e minimum of $6/hour), preferably not an office bound job, does not involve promotion of sales and in town area. it's that or nothing. and what about SERVE? been there and done that last year. it probably will be quite repetitive to go through it again next year. sigh. howhowhow???

and my sister's tutee's pri 6 sister hasn't got back to my sis whether she wants to employ me for maths tuition. i feel so unwanted.

lonely days of slacking and towning, what's the use of it?

and to top it all off, the insides of my ear can't stop bleeding.

i'm bored, unsatisfied, unemployed, unwanted and grossed out.

2007-11-28T00:26:00.000+08:00

after my 12 days of dwelling in the imaginary world: the bizarre occurrences heightened by the madness and alienation experienced by the unnamed narrators in the tales and poems of edgar allan poe; the magical and fantastical apparitions and spectacles in the tempest and the oppression and control in the male-dominated regime of the handmaid's tale, preceding the entire month of examinations...

I'M FINALLY DONE WITH NIGHTMARISH A'LEVELS WITH THEIR SCREWED UP TIMETABLE!!!!!!!!

i still cannot fully register the fact that all that studying is over.
no more jc.
no more uniform.
no more of those stifling nights with nerve-wrecking sleep.
no more mugging till the closing hours of the expo hall.
no more waking up at 4am.
no need to mug in the kitchen anymore because of the shortage of space from the stacking of notes and books on my study table.
all that 2 years of torture is done.

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU FEEL MY EXHILARATION?????????
*jumps crazily around*

8 months of freedom!!! that is if i get into university.

actually i don't feel that good about my performance and totally unsure of what kind of grades i'll be able to get.
seriously, i'll be happy and contented just to be able to get into uni, preferably into the faculty of my choice, which i think shouldn't be that hard to get into. nus fass pleasepleaseplease.

well for now, IT'S TIME TO PLAYYYYYY!!! AND TOWNING!!!!!
will be busy getting ready for prom and preparations for the christmas performances and camps and OVERSEAS HOLIDAY!!! :DDDDD
december is packed and i will be busy. but in an enjoyable way. sigh. truly, life is just beginning.

now playing: nikki blonsky - good morning baltimore [hairspray original soundtrack]

2007-10-17T00:22:00.000+08:00

i know i resolved not to touch my blog nor internet at all but today had been really crazy!!!!

mediacorp artistes joanne peh, jesseca liu, pierre png and elvin ng came to TJC!!!!!! AAHHH!!!

that was them gatecrashing into the year two's farewell concert, to film some prelude show before the star awards and to gather votes.

YES I WAS THIS CLOSE TO THEM!! LIKE JUST RIGHT BEHIND 2 INCHES AWAY!! actually there was a group photo taken together with jesseca liu and pierre png but its in calcy's camera. and you know what? pierre png was starring at irene's moomoo bag beside him and he took his marker and went to sign on her bag strap. hahaha.. i think irene would have been irritating if she didn't like pierre png but all the better if it were elvin ng's signature on it. hahaha...

while the pair left the table for their turn to film, then came joanne peh and elvin ng sitting right there in front of us!!!! AAAHHH!!!

AREYOUJEALOUS??? WAHAHAH... upclose and personal with joanne peh!!!! i think i'm going to develop and blow up this picture or something. wahaha.. :P

they left and waited in the van.

AAHAHHHAHAHA!!!!

autographed postcards! but only without jesseca liu's. =(

i'm so officially starstruck. ^^

2007-10-09T00:20:00.000+08:00

this blog will be revived on 16 november 2007.

2007-09-23T22:53:00.000+08:00

currently playing: jason mraz - you and i both

it's been quite some time since i last updated, doubt anybody regularly checks back anymore. even i get quite sian seeing the same posts all the time. okay anyway to shi, i finally put up the photos of our rapture performance!!

my last prelim paper ended on wed evening. and i finally got to relax after that, spending the rest of the day playing yahoo online games. in fact, i've been playing everyday for the rest of the week till late night. and i discovered a super duper fun game!!! it's called chocolatier. it's so fun i contemplated on buying it and i went places to search but couldn't find it. maybe i shall buy it online. :P yes it is that fun. it's not even as bimbotic and mindless as the games i usually play eg. wedding dash, diner dash. :X you should try it too.

and on thursday, me, prissy, smint, angie and yihui went kbox at marina! and dinner at gluttons, sat by the singapore river and chatted for a while before going home.

friday: went for some drinks at wheelocks with ethelyn to discuss about our upcoming trip!
met marlene for dinner at far east before going nus ucc for the nus dance ensemble concert. personally, i liked last year's performance better. but anyway, we saw quite a few celebs there. the dancefloor judge, george; the mtv vj and girls out loud host, rosslyn; MI LU BING, NICK!! yeah, those were the ones i spotted. bet there were more.

saturday: visited emily and baby ephraim! he's only about 2 weeks old and so tiny!! gaahh...
youth group and dinner and back home.

today: church, home; ratatouille on laptop, watched tv until now.

okay this is getting boring. but anyway, you see, i haven't done any work, not touched a single set of notes at all since the dumb edgar allan poe/the tempest/the handmaid's tale/pc paper on wed, which i'm surely going to flunk (when i say flunk, most of the time i really do. i usually gauge quite well.) now its time to get back into the study mode. i resolve not to touch my computer anymore. maybe i should lock it up and keep it in the storeroom. and to joanne: remember to pray for me everyday that i get to be your junior next year. :)

counting down the days to the ultimate freedom: ~~64 days!~~ (gosh that sounds very long) 2 months and 3 days!!!

2007-08-25T23:40:00.000+08:00

i distinctly remembered blogging about how much i wished and hoped and prayed that i'll never have to suffer the pain of extracting wisdom tooth at all in my lifetime.

and guess what?

i'll most probably have to do just that.

after experiencing toothache for like 4 days, i went to see the dentist (they charged exorbitant fees) and took an x-ray, showing my wisdom tooth growing slightly slanted and might affect the tooth beside it. but the operation will probably happen after a'levels when i'm more free.

argh. this sucks.

2007-08-11T23:19:00.001+08:00

oh man. soeggcitingsoeggciting!!

ethelyn and me were discussing about the deferred post o'level graduation trip since 2 years ago. we were planning to go australia but it never did happen. but this time, i've got positive vibes that we're going on that trip after all! :D

ethelyn is always ready for doing happening things with me. *yay!

actual planning and research will take place after prelims.

oh i can't wait! =D this is one project work that i'm feeling excited about. hehe.

currently addicted to: elliott yamin - wait for you

2007-08-04T21:26:00.000+08:00

i miss dance.

2007-07-20T23:08:00.000+08:00

racial harmony day celebrations was great today. everybody in 3406 wore ethnic costumes, which is like the most enthu class in the entire school! hahaha.. most costumes were supplied by mrs noordin. =)

arrived in school decked in shirt, shorts and slippers. throughout the entire journey, i was having doubts whether it was really racial harmony celebrations because everybody i saw on my way to school was wearing full school uniform la.

anyway, i reached school, met my classmates and got changed into our ethnic costumes. only around like 6 of us managed to make it in time for morning assembly and we went screaming and running towards the parade square when the command was given to sing the national anthem. classic.

i must say arts class are generally more enthu classes because both 3306 and 3406 participated actively in wearing ethnic costumes to school. brings me back to the days in cedar where practically everyone in the entire school would wear the costumes to school and to camwhore. :P
speaking of camwhoring, we took LOTSLOTSLOTS of photos todayyy!! simply because the entire class had the first period free and most of us only had less than 3 lessons today. :)
here are just a few of the manymany photos we took. if i've got the time to put all the compiled photos into slideshows (which would be eons later), i would. but for now, here are some photos to colour up my dull looking blog.

america's next top model wannabes.

bollywood mtv

irene, me, simin sweets, kai lin, yihui and shu juan!

simin sweets!

nice eh? loved the background. =)

tomorrow is sajc's dance concert - rapture. it will be another entire day sacrificed at the expense of studying. oh man. i really should buck up and grab every opportunity i have to study la. anyway, this should really be the last time i'm dancing this year. will probably feel nostalgic about it. but the studio at mediacorp is really just so fantastic. erm, actually i just meant the lightings. the whirling sounds made by the spotlights as it swivled and in the backdrop of the stage it looked like the x-men vault. shall take a picture of it tomorrow. besides the stage, i'm excited at the thought of celebrity spotting. heh. and just as we were leaving mediacorp today after rehearsals, we saw agnes and guohao from campus superstar arriving. not making a big deal out of it though. :P

2007-07-18T17:31:00.000+08:00

主啊，保守我的心
胜过保守我的一切
因为一生的果效是从内心发出。
恳求主洁净我心
为我造一颗洁净的心
恳求圣灵住在我里面
使我从新有正直的灵。

Lord, above all, guard my heart for it is the wellspring of life.

yes, it isn't good to hate. but a nicer way of putting it would be that i seriously dislike him. for what he said to me almost a year ago that left me very demoralised and hence causing mutual dislike. now the class knows that i'm afraid of him and he knows it too. but such negative feelings stemmed from his sarcasm, his insensitive way of speaking and his unconventional way of 'motivation' as a teacher. if he drove her away and wants to see me alone for consultation, i'm very afraid that it'll turn out to be a confrontation instead. and i'd hate for that to happened because i still have the rest of the year which i want to live in peace and invisibility. i have a week to neutralise and dispel those negativities that have accummulated over these period of time before the showdown which i'm dreading. Oh God, heeelllppp...

2007-07-15T13:16:00.001+08:00

what have i done? why did i do it?

2007-07-14T20:30:00.000+08:00

i need to lose weight.
cos after reverie 3, its as if i ate to compensate for all the meals i had to skip due to the busy dance practices and even though my weighing scale at home ran out of batteries and still nobody went to get new ones, i can feel it in my bones that i gained super lot of weight. please don't say it in my face if the change is visible. :\

yesterday we had a gathering with kathleen, ethelyn and vanessa. kathleen's back from australia for a week. and we had lotsa fun chatting about our sec one days. haha. i can't believe van still remembers the girl who mysteriously wasn't there on the first day of school but her name appeared in all the class data. and we took some really nice photos but its still with kath so gotta wait till she gets back to aussie before she'll probably send it to us.

i've always wondered how it'll be like studying abroad. there's probably going to be major changes from the way things are like in singapore. but i'm not sure if i really would want to study overseas. but if i'm given the chance to go for an exchange programme, i'll jump at it, provided that i do not have to host any students.

guest performing for sajc's Rapture this coming sat, 21 july at mediacorp studios. there's one concert at 2pm and another one at night cos the seating capacity is only around 600? kinda looking forward to it because it's going to be one relaxing concert this time. we're confirmed going to camwhore like siao that day. hahaha...

2007-06-29T22:41:00.000+08:00

i realised there's something wrong with me.

1) i peel my nails when i'm nervous.

i mean i peel my nails ALL THE TIME. and i've been peeling for as long as i can remember, usually when i'm bored or to keep myself preoccupied while waiting. but on tuesday night, the day before the big exam day - econs + maths paper, i got so kan cheong and frustrated cos there's just so much to LEARN and so little time that i started peeling subconsciously and rather uncontrollably. now my nails are so short that i'll have nothing to do when i'm bored. :\

2) my stomach can growl real loud.

especially in the pin-drop silent exam hall. this new found discovery was only made during this exams week. and for every paper that i sat for, my stomach would growl so loud that the person sitting 1 table away from me could hear. :P haha. quite embarrassing actually. and it was horrendous. i remembered eating a sandwich in the morning at 4am when i woke up extra early to study for econs. and during morning assembly just before i entered the hall, i finished another sandwich so that my stomach would stay quiet during the 2h 45 mins econs paper. but it was freaking scary that it acted up after the second hour!

HOW FREAKY IS THAT??

maybe i have some super powers that's morphing up. :D

i'm enjoying a prelude to post-a'levels life right now.

after my last paper on thursday, i got home and superglued myself to the sofa; watched 3 episodes of 'ugly betty', 2 episodes of 'switched' and read 'the tenth circle', went out for dinner at fish & co, got home again, bathed, got superglued again and watched yet another episode of 'switched' and 1 episode of 'lost 3'.

it was truly the life.

and that was just the tip of the iceberg. :P

i'm gonna get fat after the a'levels. :S

and today, i watched nancy drew with fanny and shi min.

some interesting info:

nancy drew owns an ipod video with an additional voice recording device,
a mac book,
and a nokia swivle phone (forgot the name of the series).

emma roberts is only 16.

oh yeah she's pretty too. =)

we took neoprints together!

and again, i can't upload it. argh.

i missed typing on my own laptop. errors were scarce.

2007-06-22T12:10:00.000+08:00

i wanna update photos. the neoprints taken with my dancemates. but my laptop was attacked by a vicious virus and there is a high chance that ALL my thousand plus songs and photos will be gone!!! argh!!! stupid bugger.
to everyone: please create a backup if you haven't already done so and don't risk losing a lifetime of effort (collecting songs) and memories (of photographs) forever.

youth chalet on wed was really a time of slacking and 'gallivanting'. haha. arrived at 7+pm, playing cards till 10pm, pooling till 1230am and mahjong-ing till 3am. especially when i'm having my literature exam the day after tomorrow, my sleeping cycle had seriously gone haywire.

the study session yesterday was a killer. went to meet shi min after my lit paper and i guess it was the fatigue that i couldn't concentrate at all.
i tried to get some sleep last night. at 1230am and i think for one hour i felt like i was teetering between the conscious and the sub-conscious. much as my brain was tired i couldn't sleep. but i woke up this morning feeling like i had the best sleep in the longest time. :)

its friday. and impossible to finish studying for the exams. i did try hard though the pressure wasn't as great compared to promos last year when my second year of jc life depended on it.

2007-06-15T22:24:00.000+08:00

it isn't about the discpline anymore.
it's about how fast i can take in the info.
and its extremely sloooooooowwwwwwwwww.....
i don't know how i'm going to sit for the exam in less than 2 weeks time.
i've been studying for 4 consecutive days with shi min, sitting there for 9 hours straight and everyday i feel so depressed because i have no life at all. maybe my suffering will be alleviated if a sense of satisfaction is derived from the productivity of it all but apparently its not. :\

if time could turn back by one year and 3 months, i would do things differently. sorry.

2007-06-10T02:19:00.001+08:00

i cut my hair today.
and i got a shock of my life because its nothing like i'd ever sported before.
but people said it looks nice, just that they need time to adjust.
haha. but i think i'm getting used to my new look so it's not so bad now la.
anyway, HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY TO DING YI!
i tried uploading the photos we took together at nydc, celebrating dingyi's birthday just now but couldn't. oh wells. its getting late anyways so i should be sleeping now. good night! :)

2007-06-08T22:08:00.000+08:00

time for some photo blogging!

on 30th may, the day before reverie III, which is also our day of rest and recharge, the 4 of us went out shopping! haha. but with the intention of shopping for mengie's present. and we took neoprints!

but we weren't satisfied with just that. we went inside this faulty neoprint machine to make use of their backgrounds for our own economic photo-takings. hehe.

our first failed attempt of using fanny's self-timer handphone camera. she had to cut her own and kee's face up.

on our second attempt, it wasn't so bad after all. :)

photos taken on reverie day!

this partial profile of shi min just cracks me up! hahaha.

kee and me!

okay now here's proper photo of shi min. :P

photo actually taken on syf day, 24th april.

the un-made up us, before the full dress rehearsals.

the "ballet-dancers-trying-to-do-hip-hop" dancers. or so, as miss wee called us. :\

we were the rich gangsters in U d N a I n T c E e S. haha.

no more gangsters. now we're trying to act cute and be normal. haha.

i love my nerdies for being there to support me! =)

fanny and sylvia. :)

reverie III: dancer in my heart.

p.s: gotta cut my hair soon! goodbye long hair. *weeps* hello new look! *jumps around happily*

2007-06-02T01:13:00.000+08:00

I'M OFFICIALLY EIGHTEEN!!
had a great 18th birthday and the last performance of the tjc modern dance club 2006/2007.

thanks to my wonderful dancemates: marlene twinnie, shi min sashimi, cheryl hello kitty, keeyann the kiwi, mengmeng ai, yan hing and fanny fan-tastic, for the 6 eggtarts, top, jodi picoult's novel and the little mermaid file.
to xinhui, aprie, vanessa, peiqi, ting ting, for the trinklets and flowers and to claudia, for the birthday puffs.
to the dancers, thank you for the cake and the birthday song in the morning. it feels great to finally find someone with the same birthday as me, especially when the person is the teacher in charge of dance club. haha.
to the sacc youths, thank you all for being there to watch and support me as i gave off the fruits of my labour on the stage.
to ethelyn, my pal of 6 years, thanks for the great time today. i had fun hanging out with you, chatting (or rather, gossipping :P), the dinner, shopping and movie, everything! brings me back to the times when we were amateur nerds in cedar. hahaha. may we be great big-time nerds in the next 5 months to come (ohmygosh! 5 months left till the a'levels!! :S)
and lastly, thanks to everyone who'd sent me birthday wishes. you made my day! =)

syf is over. reverie III has finally ended. behind the scenes of all the music, the dances, the glitters of the night, the cheering and the applauses, were the hardwork of each and every dancers and instructors. there were just so much so much effort put into it that i could not even begin to say. all the gruelling hours of dance practices, the night just made it all worthwhile. not merely because of the glamour and applauses (i would be lying to say those had nothing to do with our efforts) but rather, a mark of the end of our journey as dancers of the tjc modern dance club, the amazing 2 year journey we've had, the love that we shared for dancing. in fact, i think it has been less than 2 years, but it really felt like a long time. simply because i'd learnt so much, under the guidance of our dance instructors, and the process in finding strength from all the difficulties that we had to face. i feel that i have emerged stronger than before, with a greater passion for dance that i ever had. and through this period of time, the experience is truly indescribable, the friendships and bonds created by the shared passion for dance is built to last a lifetime.

and now, another challenge lurks ahead. the transition from full-time dancing to full-time studying is most tough and gruelling. but the same strength and drive that propelled me to push forward for dance will most definitely help this time. and the same goes for the rest of the dancers! jiayou! =)

SYF DANCE 2007 TJC

2007-05-28T01:03:00.001+08:00

up on youtube:
tjc modern dance club
syf 2007: be

2007-05-27T22:14:00.000+08:00

i just did my calculations.
and its 59.5 hours of dancing this week!!! ohmygoodness.
my feet are feeling kind of numbed and can still feel pain with every step i take. been up and about from the time i wake till at night, spending practically all the time in school, it feels like home to me. and we skipped dinner together almost everyday, only managing to munch on the colourful biscuits and strawberry love letters during 5 minute breaks, which we became so addicted to buying from the opposite mama shops. haha. and you should see the dustbins outside the dance studio and the hall. its seriously overflowing with the rubbish that we've accummulated during the weekend. despite working my head off for the past month, i really thank God for sustaining my health and protecting me from any major injuries. i feel that i deserve a good rest and a big feast after the concert. but maybe i can't enjoy that much, for all the study times that i've sacrificed for dance practices, i really should devote all my time into catching up with my work soon.

speaking of juggling between schoolwork and dance practices, i'm really trying my best to cope. and i'm really happy with my recent economics test, even though i did get some hints on it. :\ anyway, that's beside the point. a pity some teachers don't understand it at all. she's always asking me why i'm practising so hard. and i said because there's syf and concert, probably the busiest year for the club. and she asks why should we have a concert if it's gonna make us so busy. and i told her well because the school wanted us to have it even though we're not supposed to have one this year, in celebration of the school's 30th anniversary. the first time we had this conversation, we were alone and she had nothing to say after my last reply. the second time we talked about this, it was during civics lesson and everybody was there to hear it. and so, when she asked me the same question, i repeated what i told her before. and this time, she thought of a reply to my last statement, "then you should have put your foot down and said no [to the concert]. anyway you guys enjoy it right [implying that we shouldn't blame the school wanting the concert and that we, brought the trouble to ourselves.]" i was amazed at how she tweaked the situation against our favour. well, probably because she's a gp teacher. -__- i don't mean to be disrespectful but it's not the first time that she's said things that offended me.
firstly, yes we do enjoy performing. i mean, who in dance club doesn't enjoy dancing and performing and having a concert to showcase our talents? besides, since we're already in it, we might as well do it to the best and have fun, not going up there sulking and lamenting right. and secondly, having taught in that school for sooooo many years, she should know better how the system works. who are we to decline the school's "request" for a public performance to boost its image and reputation?
seriously, i view what she says as an attack, more than a note of concern. as usual, maybe i'm over-reading things again but somehow, i feel that she probably thinks i'm not going to do well for exams anyway. well i'm so going to prove her wrong. the ex dance pres and some of our seniors who were actively involved in the club still managed to get all As for a'levels. well so can i, or at least somewhere there... right? yeah i hope.. :\

okay its just 4 more days left to the big show!!
reverie III: dancer in my heart
31 may 2007
nus cultural centre
8pm

2007-05-22T23:10:00.000+08:00

28 hours of dance practices last week.
as for the past 2 days of this week, there had been 13 hours of dance.
i anticipate that this week's gonna be the record breaking week. we're possibly going to stay over in school because it makes no sense to practice until 10pm only to come back to school 8 hours later and for the whole week. i think it'll be fun dancing the night away. haha.
my muscles are overworked and its aching quite badly. :\
i was so tired out from the 8 hour practice on monday that i slept all the way till 7.45am and reached school at 8.50am. i'm so glad i decided to sacrifice maths lecture for my beauty sleep because i felt so rejuvenated after months of sleep deficit. maybe i should consider coming extra late for school once a term or something. hehe.
i can't imagine what life after reverie III is going to be like. i guess it'll be very empty and dull and sucky with schoolwork taking over the reigns.

9 more days to a very special day!! yea! :D

2007-05-10T22:37:00.000+08:00

well, i guess the busi-ness of this week is over. the lit essay deadline is postponed from tomorrow till next monday, which leaves me free to do whatever i want tonight! :D i'm so so glad i survived this week. not easy but i did and it makes feel satisfied. :)

so i was doing some research for my gp essay topic on blogging yesterday. and it inevitably led me to xiaxue's blog. and gosh, she can be so entertaining. her level of superficiality and bimbotism is amazing but her command of english is powerful. heh. and guess what? she's got so many pink stuffs i'm jealous of her. pink nintendo ds, pink tamagotchi and pink psp!! i want it toooo! :P

2007-05-06T12:53:00.001+08:00

maybe i tend to over-read into things. but it has set me off on a series of thoughts which i cannot ignore. it made me realise that as much as i do not want it to happen, something's got to give. i had been so preoccupied that i made some decisions temporarily for me to get by easier. it is understandable that relationships drift apart and all. but do you really understand my difficulties, my pressure and fatigue? well sorry if i appear arrogant and self-important that i have no time for all things else. it is not my intention to do that. i was pressed up against the wall and it would really help for some understanding and kind words once in a while, not comments with some underlying sarcasm.

p.s: this post is abstract and probably with some underlying meaning. please do not think that i was referring to anyone in particular who's reading this. its not to offend but merely a venue of expression.

2007-05-04T23:46:00.000+08:00

multiply.com seems to have quite a good blogging system. am thinking of switching over. but i can't bear to. i've been having this blog for the longest time: 2 years and 2 months with 166 posts. that's no mean feat. for myself. i shall decide again at a later date when i've got more time on hand. the economics hurdle had just ended. gotta immerse myself in mathematics, general paper, literature and geography. with 2 tests, 2 essays and 2 presentations, week 8 is the ultimate killer week. i've got to survive this. i'll be happy again in 7 days. seeya.

2007-04-30T21:33:00.000+08:00

i feel very thick-skinned to say this. but heck! it's going to be my 18th birthday in 31 days!! hahaha.. and its probably going to be my most eventful, memorable, unforgettable and celebrated birthday in my whole life. okay maybe not celebrated. just because it falls on the same day as reverie III doesn't mean the main objective is to celebrate my birthday. but its definitely going to be the busiest. spending my entire birthday within the cultural centre building and rehearsing for the concert is kinda sad, not to mention tiring. but at least having something to do is better than having nothing to do (thinking back on my 17th birthday). i hope i get lots of presents and wishes then! :D

i've been more active in my blogging these days, hoping to compensate for the past month of blog neglect. heh.

i ponned school today. i didn't want to take that econs test cos i couldn't finish studying for it. half my class who were away in kuantan are taking on thursday so i thought i could take together with them. and its half day today cos of sports day. so it's definitely a good idea to decide to pon school. so i went out to study on my own at macs. it was pretty productive. but after 4.5 hours, i felt so depressed cos i had nobody to talk to. wahaha.. i couldn't talk/sing to myself in public can i? and i can't go to the toilet when i wanted, leaving my things behind. sigh. yeah so that's the downside of ponning school cos there isn't anybody you can call out to study with. :\

2007-04-29T23:50:00.000+08:00

i'm recently getting crazy over benji schwimmer!
i mean i've been supporting him all along throughout 'so you think you can dance 2' and was exhilarated when he was crowned america's favourite dancer.
and my real craze started on 24 april, one day before syf when i stumbled on his blog and discovered that he's coming to singapore. so i left a comment asking him what he's here in singapore for. thinking that i might be able to see him as one of the syf judge or something.
AND HE REPLIED ME!! ohmygosh. i realised he doesn't just reply to anybody's message la! and he told ME,
"no its for the finale performance on "The Dance Floor" then the next day im teaching workshops for Shawn and gladys dance studio then doing a private show and watching spiderman 3 privately."

*screams*!!!

watching him dance live in singapore's mediacorp studios for the dance floor grand finals was simply pure bliss.. :) even though separating us was just a television screen.

2007-04-27T23:39:00.000+08:00

"We come with nothing but
we leave the stage, knowing
we've done everything.
Never stop believing."

we got a gold. many of us are sad. personally, i was disappointed. but mainly because of the failure to meet the expectations of people and the inability to maintain the standards set by the seniors. actually, a gold isn't that bad. just that it isn't good enough. it's only second best. i don't know how to describe the feeling. probably just gloomy. on seeing so many of my fellow dancers crying and being so sad, i was affected too but not as bad. probably because i had learned to cope with the many disappointments that i'd ever faced. is that good? the answer is probably arbituary.

syf judging is often subjective. but unfortunately, its everything. well, at least there's reverie III to press on for, to show everyone else the dance that we've been practising so hard for, to let the audiences see for themselves if the syf dance is truly a gold standard. well, if zaki thinks its good, its good enough. time to pick ourselves up and work hard at performing for a larger and more enjoyable audience on 31 may! =)

2007-04-24T21:08:00.000+08:00

hi! long time no see. haha.. just so you know, this blog isn't dead yet. there had been so many things going on and too many things that's blog-worthy but i was afraid i'll spend too much time online blogging. :P but it didn't really matter cos i still spend quite a lot of time online, so what's the point actually. :\

i just can't say enough about my feelings for tomorrow. its the big day! ohmanohman! its syf day tomorrow! i'm excitedscaredanxioushappynervous and going emotionally haywire!! i know i've ranted quite a few times about dance for the past few months. but this time, this time is serious. i need to vent out whatever's going through me now. i've never been so scared about my previous syf experiences before. maybe because i've never put in so much so much effort before, it had never been so tough, judging had never ever been so strict and expectations and standards had never been set so high. for me at least. but i really really want to do this. i really want to give it my best shot, to dance like never before, to have no regrets, to spend all my emotions on this and to dance the last syf in my whole life with the friends i love. tomorrow's the day. it's everything all of us have exchanged our 6 months of effort, all that we worked for. oh God, please unite the entire group together in this one goal in mind, that is to work towards the ultimate best of our abilities for this crucial and very last syf competition that we're ever going to have. i place it all in your hands.

2007-03-30T23:45:00.000+08:00

i've got a pimple in the weirdest place. right smack in the centre of my nose. i feel like rudolph. the red nose reindeer. -_-"

i never realised the highlights on my hair are so obvious.. :\

upclose and personal of my ec. doesn't it look like i'm actually taking the picture for him? haha.. :P

the updated ipod family. from the left: ipod video (alex's), ipod mini (beverly's), ipod nano new generation (xinhui's) and ipod nano (mine!). haha..

that's me by the way.under the mask that we're supposed to wear for the syf dance. can almost suffocate under it. :

and still can be posers.

the skins we shed.

please do not puke at the sight of this photo. i know its in a disgustingly dirty and miserable state now. the plasters that's holding the horribly torn foot thong is not going to hold out for long. but i'm still waiting for my new pair of foot thongs. :\

2007-03-18T22:09:00.000+08:00

my mouth is bursting with ulcers! ugh.. :\ hellpp... i'm suffering...

2007-03-17T00:30:00.000+08:00

on thursday, dance club had a make up workshop. and kee the great artist was my partner. sadly, her make up skill is only mediocre. haha.. and she took so long i didn't even have the time to practice on her la! hais..

this was done by the lao shi herself. thought i'd take a photo of it to analyse how to highlight the same way but i guess forget it la. :\

check out this funny video. no offence. :X
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sBDA_4DKrbM

2007-03-15T22:26:00.000+08:00

haven't updated for quite some time. a couple of weeks ago, the micro sd card kinda screwed up and i couldn't upload photos from my phone to the comp and i lost the motivation to update my blog too. hehe.. yeah. its a multiple deprivation thing. :P but now that its back to normal, i'm posting some random photos here! =)

still some more pictures we took during cny.

and during youth alpha camp.

i almost got myself blinded taking this picture. so did the rest of us. the flash was blindingly bright in the pitch dark room and we took so many shots and lost dunno how many millions of brain cells before getting a picture with all of us in it. heh.

the huge butterfly-like moth we saw in church! O.o

and to highlight just how big it is, here's a better picture to gauge the size with.

some photos taken with the cool mosiac function on my phone!

my sis and me on the bus.

shi min, meng ai and me!

1. meng ai 2. shi min 3. marlene 4. me 5. fanny

after xinhui bought her ipod nano, she became part of the ipod family.

here's clement trying to BREAK IT DOWN!

my current ec. :P

2007-03-02T23:24:00.000+08:00

i'm so tired i'm partially braindead right now. but i want to do some work. i need to do some work. so i thought i'd do some online research. but once i turned on the computer, i'll 100% confirm guaranteed to get distracted. today for instance, i got distracted by updating my ipod. other days with blog, other other days with friendster. its like once i'm online, i'll always manage to find something to distract myself from what i've set out to do in the first place. which is bad. and i got to stop doing this. its makes me feel very guilty for not doing anything constructive.

today was the release of the a'level results. i feel so glad for them. tj did better than last year and 80% distinctions for literature. i bet a lot of effort went into studying for the exams. and for that, i admire them for their hardwork and intelligence. i can't help feeling a sense of despair. the time is drawing near for my own big exam. but i'm nowhere near the finishing point. in the academic sense. having experienced a miracle for my o'level exams doesn't mean it will happen again this time. i was there in the hall and i felt so motivated to press on and to enjoy the fruits of my labour just like them at the end of the day. but time is running short. and i'm totally stretched, both physically and mentally. dancing 7 times in 4 days a week and piling up loads and loads of schoolwork which i can't clear after i come home from dance when i just feel like collapsing on the bed to sleep. i don't get good weekends either. i'm probably too involved in church commitments. i find that the time i really get the strength to study will be on sunday nights.

i know year 2 isn't going to be easy. but i'm not guarded against it and all the stress that comes with it. i'm really trying my best. but everything that's going on and taking up my time is going to wear me out very soon.

2007-03-01T22:20:00.000+08:00

this is a freaking pretty picture we took during the youth alpha camp! haha..
1) the background so nice right? i think it's the great world city building.
2) all of us jumped so nicely with our legs tucked in and at equal height.
3) and its amazing how our slippers are secured in between our toes even as we jump.
4) you realise we're arranged in alternate black shirt and white shirt and since i'm the extra wearing red, i get to jump in the centre! haha.. :P
4) and its quite funny if you zoom in on our faces. :\

its like i'm doing a close photograph analysis la. haha.. okay whatever.

tomorrow is the day! actually i'm more excited for the people getting back their a'level results than for myself getting back my chinese a'level results. in fact, i don't even feel anything about my chinese results.

youth alpha weekend away

2007-02-24T21:50:00.000+08:00

it was a happening day.
haha.. i had dance until 8 before rushing down to boys' brigade campus for the youth alpha weekend awayyy..

chinese new year

2007-02-24T21:41:00.000+08:00

there were more of those funny shots with the chopper which we took at chinatown mrt station at 12 midnight. haha.. but ding yi la, haven't send finish and each file is like super big. so yeah, that's all there is for now. =)

2007-02-17T00:29:00.000+08:00

celebrating prissy's birthday at cineleisure kbox! :D

their mango pudding was yummy!

me, xinhui and prissy

prissy the pretty birthday girl! :)

chaneline, me, xinhui, prissy and angie-kins! hehe..

2007-02-15T23:58:00.000+08:00

my foot is like rotting la. yuks! :S

feel the love! i made these spongy hearts for all my best gal pals. cute right? haha..

pretty flowers i received! :)

happy valentine's day! =)

go green day: 11 Feb

2007-02-15T21:40:00.000+08:00

2007-02-09T23:38:00.000+08:00

what an eventful week.

on monday, actually there were nothing much la. like i said, it had been sucky with the sucky timetable. but despite all the suckiness, i finally got blocked into the syf dance! yayy! now the dance is going to be great! hahaha... okay that's bhb. :P

on tuesday, i did a very embarrassing thing. i fell down the stairs while giving the loudest shriek. hahaha... all that at the staircase with the most people around and at the busiest time. -_- and i fell hard on my knees and i seriously thought i broke it or something cos i couldn't walk at all even with support. but after that it got better la. heh.

on wednesday, foo claire tied pretty plaits for me and it looked like this:

which was during the sexuality talk we had for mass civics. :\ haha..

and then, bev and me went to tm for a super early dinner at 4 plus at pasta mania!! haha.. this is so exciting because throughout my 1 plus year in tj, i never had the chance to have lunch and go shopping like rich taitais with too much time on hand. haha.. what fun it was. =)

on thursday, it was a bad day. i got to skip pe and all that agonising run THEY had to do. and the PMSES of that siao male teacher. he seriously scolds for no apparent reason, hence the diagnosis. that was the good part of the day for me but later during the day me and leexinhui got caught by the dm for bringing food to the classrooms. ha ha ha. it wasn't a pleasant encounter at all this time and needless to say, we got scolded, had to write an apology letter and to see him the next morning together with all the people whom we bought the food for. :\ it seemed that leexinhui and me are always getting into trouble together. last year with om chang and this year with the dm. we are truly partners in crime. heh. much as it was a bad day for me (that single incident could spoil my entire day), it was worse for leexinhui cos on top of that, she sprained her ankle while walking on flat ground. hahaha... she never ceases to amaze me. anyway, i shall be sympathetic and hope that you'll GET WELL SOON! you are so lucky to be able to skip the road run on friday. :\ oh yeah! apparently she got what she wished for, that is to injure herself after getting jealous that i got to skip pe for my injured knee. haha.. be careful of what you wish for.. *smiles sinisterly*

on friday, dm wasn't in school so we didn't went to look for him. thank God. i was dreading the meeting la. :P and today, i was amazed by myself and i must proudly show off the brainchild of my creativity. :P

hahaha... cool eh? i uploaded this photo from my phone and if you view this picture from my phone, you get to see 4 of the same phone in it, each within the next phone. this was partly inspired by shakepeare's 'the tempest' where we learnt about the idea of a play within a play and in this context, a phone within a phone within a phone within a phone within a phone! hahaha!! omg i'm so high!

2007-02-04T22:08:00.000+08:00

i've got the suckiest timetable on monday on top of the fact that everybody gets monday blues, mondays are the suckiest days for me. no wonder mondays have got the highest rate of deaths. as said by mrs noordin. i wonder who actually does researches like that. anyway back to the point, i'm dreading tmr. :\

on saturday, we did geography fieldwork at the cbd area.
then aprie and me decided to become a couple of posers.

afterwards i went to church. and we had fun! and we took pictures!

and more pictures on sunday.

there were many more. but for convenience's sake, only the pretty ones get posted up here. heh.

i think blogger realised the error of their ways and made uploading photos much faster then it used to be. kudos to them! =)

2007-02-02T21:17:00.000+08:00

to my pretty friend, HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY!!

1 Feb 2007

2007-01-25T23:08:00.000+08:00

my wish came true!
the first test we got back this year is a pass for me!
though not a very high pass but still, its a good start. =)

2007-01-24T21:05:00.000+08:00

yes. this is my discipline master. and we were having chendol together. hahaha... so unbelievable right. the three of us: cheryl, mr tong and myself did flyer distribution together. just found out about this arrangement with the dm today. so it was quite scary and i kind of freaked out during morning assembly. haha.. anyway it was okay la and after all the work, he treated us to chendol at bedok interchange food centre. this should be my once in a lifetime experience to be eating with the dm. heh.

2007-01-22T22:46:00.000+08:00

funny how two drops of tears manage to cure it all.
i had a hard day today.
a sucky time table, no free periods, killer pe, nerve-wrecking dance and the non-stop gruelling of it all.
running from 5th level maths lessons to lit room, running from lit room to sports comm, plus 2.1 km of pe running, i'm not complaining.
but the unfathomable mind of the Z always manages to kill me.
the uncertainty of being chosen because he didn't clearly announce to settle the doubts of our place in syf. so when most of them were being blocked, leaving some of us alone till the end of class was scary and miserable. was consoling and trying to make her see the brighter side of the situation didn't help to make myself feel better. instead, it increased the doubts i have on myself and the fear of all the hardwork and effort put in for the past 3 months ending up to nothing. but eventually he sort of said that auditions weren't necessary for the year 2s which in other words, means that all of us are in. receiving this piece of indirect good news after having created such emotional turmoil under such circumstances didn't make me feel happy at all.
and i went home and started a tiny negative chained reaction.
and i asked myself why especially since it was mummy's birthday and through it all that i finally got into syf.
i guess the pressure built up and i've been taking it on.
funny how two drops of tears manage to cure it all.

i have no idea why i'm speaking/typing like that.

gosh i hate mondays.

2007-01-19T22:00:00.000+08:00

the first 3 weeks of year 2 had been pretty okay.
busy, yeah quite. but on top of that, hanging out with my og mates in between breaks, lunch time and even to the extent of ponning that scholarship talk had been fun. haha.. and they said the year 2s like quite slack. well, i think the eye of it hasn't arrive yet. just like in the movie "the day after tomorrow", when it seemed calm and peaceful in the eye of the hurricane, the real thing has yet to begun. and i think the real thing is beginning soon. starting from next week, i'll be dancing 4 days in a week. there had been tests and all, but because dance haven't really extended beyond thrice a week for the first 3 weeks of school, i did my homework and studied for tests, giving me the hope that i might not have to fail it this time. okay this sounds really pessimistic but its true. and i'm hoping that the first test that i'll be getting back this year will be a pass. :)

dance. where do i even begin. we had performed during the pdp fair, reusing the dance we did for mardi gras which we haven't danced since 10 months ago and recapping it within 2 dance practices. then there was the year 1 auditions which 19 out of 45 got in. and just today, the year 1s had their syf auditions and 4 were chosen. although syf auditions are scary, i just wish zaki will choose the year 2s soon.

i got addicted to this song during the week. enjoy the lyrics. =)

That's When I Love You
by Aslyn
How To Deal original soundtrack

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when I love you
I love you
Just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
or see you walk with two left feet
That's when I love you
I love you endlessly

And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget i'm waiting in the rain
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie, it made you cry
That's when I love you
I love you a little more each time

And when you can't quite match your clothes
Or when you laugh at your own jokes
That's when I love you
I love you more than you know
And when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby I love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when I love you
When nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more I love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when I love you
When I love you no matter what

That's when I love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do could change my mind
The more I learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
Thats when I love you
When I love you
No matter what

No matter what

2007-01-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

sorry, have been on hiatus for quite sometime that i missed writing a new year entry. oh wells. there had been so many things going on that i wanted to blog about that i don't feel like blogging. okay what am i saying.

let's get on straight to the point for.. photos time!!
haha... i know you like it more than the wordy stuffs cos i do too! :)

there were more pictures, i believe. cos we cam-whored throughout the 4 day orientation and after o-nite until after 12am on saturday. pictures that makes me wanna laugh and reminisce of all the fun times. oh wells nvm. we had fun. :D

oh yeah. i got a new phone and new number for the new year! okay this slogan sucks. anyway, if you haven't already got my new number, please ask me for it. =)

someday we'll know

2006-12-26T17:10:00.000+08:00

Ninety miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving, I don't know why
So many questions... I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind

Oh, someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you...

Does anybody know the way to Atlantis?
Or what the wind says when she cries?
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the ninety-seventh time... Tonight

Someday we'll know
Why Sampson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you...

I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
Watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me tonight?

christmas eve

2006-12-24T20:57:00.000+08:00

pooling is fun! i wonder why its not part of the asean games or something like that. i mean since bowling is included, why not pool?

it's christmas in almost 3 hours.
somehow, it doesn't feel like christmas.
come to think of it, it never really feels like christmas to me. the mood and atmosphere never really get to me.
its sad. :(

hong kong trip

2006-12-23T22:11:00.000+08:00

back from hong kong 6 days ago.
and i missed it so much, especially disneyland! =) everything about it is mickey and the disney princesses that i feel like a kid again. hehe..

on the flight to hong kong, there weren't enough economy seats left after the flight's transition at singapore and we got the business class seats instead! haha.. so cool. the seats are so comfy and wide.

hong kong's colder than i expected. at 13d-17d. so i brought only a pair of slippers but it was freaking cold over there! we were like the only idiots there wearing uncovered shoes la. -.-" i had wanted to buy a pair of shoes but i realised that i didn't really like their designs but there really are lots of boots there though i didn't buy any because i don't really wear boots and even more so back in singapore. so we survived the coldness in our slippers which we got used to after some time. we went into this chinese medicine shop and this shopkeeper looked at me who was wearing 3 quarters and slippers and i think he couldn't control himself asking me if i'm cold. -.-" i don't know if i should feel proud at going against the temperature or just plain stupid. :\

there are so many shopping spots in hong kong! on an average over the 4 days we spent in hong kong, we were out shopping and sightseeing from 10am-12am everyday. and that's FOURTEEN hours. we walked and ate some finger food, sometimes stopping by for the famous xu liu shan dessert shop. the total time we actually got to sit down and rest is only around 30 mins. hahaha... i've never ever walked so much in my entire life and i thought my feet is gonna go flat sooner or later. but i recuperated after the trip and stayed at home for 72 hours straight. :)

oh just a few notes of complain.
1) everything in disneyland requires a freaking long queue. we queue to take photographs with the characters, we queue to watch the performances, we queue to take the rides, and the food and the toilet... but the amazing thing is, the hong kongers don't seem to mind it at all. i guess they're used to it but argh... i can't stand it! what a waste of my precious time. just totally kills my mood. can you believe the only ride i got the take is the widely acclaimed "scariest ride in disneyland" space mountain which isn't exactly up to my expectation. :\
2) there are freaking lot of smokers in hong kong i almost died of passive smoking. well, probably cos its winter there and they need to get warm. but still, there are other ways..
3) the shop keepers at the night markets are first class actors. so that you will feel bad and pay for your items at the jacked up prices only to realise at a few stalls down, the exact same stuffs you just bought are sold at almost half the price you paid. -.-"

random shots.

2006-12-11T22:56:00.001+08:00

6-8 Dec 2006 34/06 Class Chalet

2006-12-11T00:30:00.000+08:00

2006-12-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

by demand of shi min, i wish her a HAPPY BELATED 17TH BIRTHDAY!!! :)))
if that helps, even though this greeting is late by 9 days. haha.. :P

yay! i found this photo hosting thing which is good and easy to use. life's good without using blogger photo uploader.

6 Dec 2006 Graduation Night

2006-12-10T23:41:00.000+08:00

2006-12-05T17:25:00.000+08:00

i've got more pictures to upload now that marlene has updated her blog.

we're showing off our pretty dresses. :)

this blazer belonged to the doctor whose office turned into our dressing room. i merely borrowed it. heh.. :P

yay! :D

2006-12-05T00:43:00.000+08:00

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY MARLENE!!

dance performance on saturday:
i overslept that morning. was supposed to report to school at 7 but i woke up at 7.20am. :\ so i took a cab down to sgh by myself. it was a performance at sgh's eye centre for the national eye care day. i have no idea what it is about but i think we were paid to perform. :P the dance is originally choreographed for the year's 2's grad night. we sort of reused the dance for the eye centre's performance. if you go for reverie III next year, you'll get to see the item too. ;) so here are some picture. :)

jen, fanny, marlene and me. =)

love our purple costume.

the balloons, seha and me made the picture colourful! :)

and then, my sis and me went to marina square to watch happy feet. erm.. its not a very nice show so if you have other alternatives, don't watch that show. its not quite worth the money.

pretty christmas decorations!

and so we took a picture with it.

2006-12-01T00:39:00.000+08:00

my holiday is packed packed packed!!
its actually pretty satisfying to see so many colours filling up all the spaces on my calendar.
but this also means lesser time for me to do homework. ugh. as much as i dislike it, the homework thought continues tugging at the back of my mind.

p.s: eh. nobody tags my board anymore. :(

2006-11-27T22:44:00.000+08:00

it all started last night when i was looking through my childhood photos. reminiscing about the past and i decided to collate all the photos that i took this year from my computer to have it developed the next day. so i started choosing the pictures from 1130-0130 and continued from 0830-1030 the next morning. in total, i developed 149 photographs! haha.. i think i broke my personal record. it mostly came from the pictures i took during serve. looking back at those photos i would sometimes laugh to myself. :P

from the cambodia mission trip 2005 to prom night to the youth camp to the wonderful time in serve to tj to dance club and to the many events in church, i think i really had lots of fun and i appreciate the chance to meet so many people who came and colour up my life.
the new photo album i bought wasn't even enough to hold half of the pile of photographs i developed. i think i'm going to get some refills and another photo album tomorrow. and i think i spent quite alot on all these but i guess its okay cos i can keep record of the different phases of my life and what i've experienced. :)

yeah and before i go for chalet and hong kong i think i need to clear up the accummulating photos and arranging them in order before i forget what comes after what.
which i think is a pretty meaningful thing to do at this time during your holidays and at the end of the year, a time to reflect on 2006 as year 2007 approaches! =)

2006-11-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

i think my right hip is somewhat dislocated. it was super painful whenever i try to lift my right leg i can feel it cracking in different places. but after two days it felt better already so its probably not dislocated. :P
i just love applying yoko yoko. you know, the medicated oil for muscle aches. the tingling sensation and thrill is overwhelming. okay i'm probably psycho-ing myself because the truth is, my legs hurt especially whenever i walk up or down the stairs. i was struggling at the overhead bridge today even an ah ma can go up faster than me. -.-"

woo hoo!!! i finally watched step up todayyy!!!! channing tatum is officially my fave now. he's good looking, can act, plays good soccer and can dance bloody well!!! *faints*
okay the storyline isn't exactly original but the dance routines are amazing and if i'm half as good a dancer as nora i can die with no regrets. just kidding. but yeah, you know what i mean. :P

2006-11-21T21:39:00.000+08:00

oh man!! i'm friends with joanie and gina! as in, the people from america's next top model??!! haha.. actually not exactly friends la. only virtually. at myspace. :P

yay! i'm finally going to go watch step up with my dancemates tomorrowwww....! :D

2006-11-15T15:39:00.000+08:00

the pictures taken on my cousin's wedding on saturday! =)

the wedding was held at the armenian church which isn't a church currently in use but cos my cousin and her husband liked the architecture of the church, they decided to get married there!

in the bride's car on the way to the church.

outside the church.

getting ready for the dinner.

just look at my sis's messy room.

the cousins.

material girls is out too! but step up is currently still my first choice movie. it irks me that practically everybody has watched step up already but i have not. :S

2006-11-14T09:50:00.000+08:00

sophie kinsella (the author of the shopaholic series) is coming out with a new book called shopaholic and baby! haha... i hope i get to read it once its out. =)

i'm feeling hopeful about dance now. i think i will stay on. and even if there will be dance practices 5 times a week once school reopens and i'll probably get scolded by zaki in the process, i think i will still stay on. that is, unless i fail to meet his expectations. but for now, i should buck up on my studies and come up with a new strategy to find time to do homework once school reopens.

PS: i want/need to watch step up!

2006-11-10T22:19:00.000+08:00

i haven't updated in a looooonnng time. well probably cos i've been too caught up in playing the sims 2 university (YES i've finally bought it!!) and reading.

cg outing at this ulu street that i've never come across before at orchard. okay probably cos i'm ulu la okay. anyway it was at ricetable. heard of it? bet you haven.t :P

not the entire class though...

and then we saw this uber cool orange lamboghini!!!

watched the covenant with marlene on wednesday to spend that pair of free tickets. erm.. didn't know what the movie was about initially except that its got to do with some power thingy. but overall it was alright la. the male lead steven strait can compete with channing tatum (eh aprie, you can go google on steven strait. you'll probably like him. haha..) speaking of which, i HAVEN'T watched step up yet! ARGH!!! this is killing me. everybody gets to watch it before i did! this is not fair!! there isn't a day when my dance mates and me are free at the same day but HOPEFULLY we get to watch it this thursday. PLEASE don't torture me like this!

tomorrow is my cousin's wedding!!! yay!! i finally get to wear that dress and i want to take lots of pictures too! can anybody teach me how to use photobucket/flicker where you can post lots and lots of pictures on your blog without having to go upload using blogger? it takes a freaking long time to wait for the photos to load eh.

okay i gotta get back to my sims now. today my agenda is to create an lunatic ugly loser. which isn't easy to accomplish by the way.

2006-11-02T00:57:00.000+08:00

i was walking at the void deck at night, preoccupied with keeping my stuffs. my pace was pretty fast when all of a sudden, i felt something prickly furry in between my calves.

i freaked out la. it was a darn stray cat jutting itself in between my legs. and i screamed. good thing there wasn't anybody around then. not that i'm afraid of cats but won't you get a shock when a bloody cat suddenly comes out of nowhere and tries to paw on you? yuks.

2006-10-29T17:43:00.000+08:00

i'm seriously thinking of pulling out of syf.
1) i can't cope with my studies
2) there is no guarantee just who zaki will choose as the syf dancers until next year. and if i eventually don't get in, all that time and effort will be wasted, which could be put to better use such as studying and relaxing during my rightly deserved HOLIDAY.
3) i don't think i'm good enough to be chosen so instead of wasting time and waiting for him to give me the sack, i should just quit on him first.

call me a quitter. but how would you like to face psychological torment at least twice a week during his lessons in the holidays? torment meaning the ultimate pressure you feel when every milimetre of your movements are being closely scrutinized aka how you keep your thumb and which angle your joint arches. he sees it, he criticises it. and he only says the bad stuffs and doesn't affirm at all. it's basically hell. when standing before him and forced to dance alone with so many people watching and you simply have no idea where exactly went wrong when he doesn't even want to say what and you'll just to have keep doing the same thing until somebody identifies it and tells you the mistake. it can truly be the ultimate breaking point. i'm not obliged to take all this and i can just continue living my days happily and focus my time on what's more important. i know its training and trainings aren't supposed to be smooth-sailing. but to the point of making me dread doing what i like and even to fear it, i don't see why i should continue with all these crap.

but i have to come to terms with it. he's good. and i do want to improve. but all of us gave up so much for dance. at the cost of our results and academic betterment. we put in our best. and i don't think we deserve all this. unless his attitude problem changes for the better, he'll always be that storm in the otherwise utopic dance world.

2006-10-25T22:17:00.000+08:00

okay i'm not supposed to be blogging but doing my psychology report which is due tmr. but i really have the urge to blog otherwise i'll never have a peace of mind to give my best to the report. (www.excuses.com) :P p.s: oh it's not supposed to be an actual url in use.
anyway.

today, i did something which i've never done before. an interview. an ogl interview at that too. well, i've nothing much to say regarding that except that i've pretty much threw my face out of the window. not literally though. it was quite embarrassing actually. but come to think of it maybe if i don't think so much about it, everything will seem alright. oh wells.

reading back to my first post in this blog showed me how much my style of writing and thinking and life changed. hais.. the old days...

2006-10-23T22:27:00.000+08:00

i finally went back to cedar today!!
with the main purpose of collecting my long overdued o'level cert. and at the same time, visit the teachers and juniors.
firstly, the sec 4s are having their study break.
secondly, the school's having promotion day so there's no school today. the cedarians who went to school is like so few can.
thirdly, the very few teachers who were in school were having exco meeting until quite late.

so that makes up a pretty unfruitful trip for eth, van and me. :

eth, me and van. nicely capturing the cedar clock tower with van's new camera phone. :))

continued chatting at starbucks, compass point.

2006-10-23T09:15:00.000+08:00

wassup ppl!
I GOT PROMOTED!!! :)))
it may seem like a really small deal but it certainly wasn't easy for me to make it. cos it was a really marginal narrow scrap through for me.
wah thank God.
anyway, i promised myself i'll work consistently hard if i do get promoted.
so now i'm in the computer lab updating my blog when i'm supposed to be in the lecture theatre.
what a nice start to my resolution.
okay stop it. i will and must and die die be very serious about my resolution and i'll start hunting for tuition centres and everything.

2006-10-15T01:01:00.000+08:00

yay i like my new template. but not sure if photos will fit nicely into the frame.
let's give it a try..

well, that's the best size it can get, though it is a bit small..

2006-10-13T23:16:00.000+08:00

i'm feeling happier already. not because i've looked on the brighter side but rather, choosing not to think about it by reading lots and lots of books by the authors of the shopaholic series and the princess diaries. :D nothing like some bimbotically trashy and nonsensical stories to lift me out of the gloom.

it's the fatigue again. just like the period of time when we stayed back and danced in preparation for reverie and mardi gras. after the open house and dinner when i reached home, my feet really couldn't take it anymore. i had to bathe SITTING down. and struggling to keep awake while reading at 8pm. it's a strict policy of mine to not sleep before 12 if there's no school the next day.

to joe: i was hoping you'll forget about it. ha ha. can i do the questions selectively? heh.. :P

to van: thanks. :) btw, i couldn't get eth lei. smsed n called her but she was MIA and didn't get back to me. i NEED to go back to cedar to get my o's cert. :\

to xl, joanne and xj: thanks thanks. okay, though it's hard not to worry, i still i can't help it. it's gonna be a dark wednesday on 18 oct 2006. remember to wear black. :(((

2006-10-11T21:45:00.000+08:00

it's finally over.
so why don't i feel happy or relieved?
because i'm terrified of what my results will be.
i'm not saying this for the sake of saying it or out of humility but i'm seriously scared of getting retained.
i know where i stand and can roughly gauge how i'll fare. and i think it's really on the verge of not making it for promotion.
i said that with a serious, fearful and heavy heart. there's this looming apocalyptic feel. and i've been preparing myself for the time when they'll tell me that i need to be retained.

2006-10-09T23:58:00.000+08:00

i realised i sounded very studious and i've been studying every waking hour for the past few weeks in my previous post. which is kinda true but i wonder if stuffs actually really go into my brain and stays there. :\
all i want for Christmas is to get promoted. an early Christmas present, that is. not for year 2007.
stamina fizzles out after your second last paper and your last paper takes place 5 days later. you just feel like you've finished your exams and its holiday and you can't resist the temptation to watch the korean drama serial that you've been abstaining from for the past 1 month.

2006-09-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY wake up STUDY go school STUDY break STUDY lunch STUDY go library STUDY take bus STUDY dinner STUDY sleep STUDY......
and the chant goes on...

the hong kong trip is settled! i'll be jetting off on 14th dec. yay! the one thing that's getting me going through this stupid mundane mind-drainingly difficult period of studying. more info to be posted after the promos! =)

2006-09-08T01:12:00.000+08:00

i haven't been doing much these few days. and i've got a major mugging session planned tomorrow. at mj with ethelyn. hopefully, no. i MUST be productive! just listening to the way ethelyn works scares me. which is good, in a way because she influences and stresses me to study. and that's what i really need.

i just came back from the esplanade after watching forbidden city. it was bloody good can!! now we know why clement is so crazy over the musical. seriously, the musical is good la but there is no need to be so drama like him. well, at least clement's vindicated after all his over-the-top recommendations of forbidden city and for the times we thought he was insane for being so excited at the very mention of the words 'forbidden' and 'city'.
kit chan is so pro la! she can sing super well and act duper well. and there was a live band and all the actors sing live too! i think it's really really not easy to pull the entire performance together. its definitely worth the money. =)
and i love the songs they sang in the musical!

i need him
chorus:
like winter nights need fire
like temples need a shrine
like lovers need desire
like prophets need a sign

i need him can't he see
i need him to be mine

*my motivational slogan: STUDY NOW IF NOT GET RETAINED.

2006-09-05T23:25:00.000+08:00

starbucks is quite a nice place to study at.
i think i was quite productive except that i couldn't go to the toilet when i wanted to cos i was alone.

i should stop losing my stationaries. namely, my liquid paper. its my 3rd one this year. i lost the first one (okay, not really losing it but rather, stolen.) when there was this girl whom i didn't know came and asked to borrow it from me. being a kind soul, i lent it to her and i never saw her and my liquid paper after that. and my second one, it just vanished into thin air. if my liquid paper thief happens to be reading this, listen. stop stealing my liquid paper. i'm going broke having to buy it even before i finished using it. and do you have any idea how expensive it is? and please, just let me enjoy the satisfaction of finishing the bottle by myself. if you must, go steal other cheaper stuffs. but of course, from now on, i will be watching over my pencil box like a hawk.

i'm so proud of myself for resisting the temptation to buy meg cabot's novel: size 12 is not fat. cos i can't afford to read it now. not until i finish my pride and prejudice and the tempest. yeah. it really is a cause for worry that i haven't even finished reading it when i'm supposed to be taking the exam in a month's time.

2006-09-02T00:34:00.000+08:00

argh...
i should really slap myself.
today i was sitting at the window seat at mos burger at parco, studying.
when i happened to look up and out the window, guess who i saw??
i saw... MI LU BING!!!!
wei qi and the other guy i forgot what's his name were putting down their guitars and sitting at the outside seats. my favourite, nic came to join them later.
OMG!
i was like less then 1.5 metre away from them la. with the window panel in between us.
just so happened that i brought my camera out today when i usually don't.
everything was like so coincidental and falling into place so nicely.
i could have went up to them for a picture.
then there would be a picture of the 4 of us on my blog right below now.
BUT.
i didn't ask for a picture with them.
i didn't dare to.
boo. :(((
then i lost my concentration on maclaurin's series cos i was contemplating all the while if i should go up to them.
when they finally got up and wanted to leave, this girl went up to them for a photo on her camera phone.
she took a total of FOUR PICTURES!
one with the 3 of them and with each of the band members.
then we realised that she was alone when she asked for a picture with them.
gosh. she's SO brave.
shucks.
i SHOULD HAVE done the same too!
mi lu bing were SO FRIENDLY!!
argh!!
and all i did was to stare at them the whole time.
pathetic.

2006-08-31T23:12:00.000+08:00

yup. as promised, these are the photos we took today during staff day. =)
the performance was great and all of us did a wonderful job.
when the emcee announced the next item which would be modern dance club, we could hear the audience cheered the loudest cheer and it surprised and encouraged us so much! heh.. performing was just pure fun. =)

kee yann and me. our last rehearsal before the real thing.

kee yann, me, fanny and marlene.

ma ling shu and me!

shhh min...

went for lunch with fanny, yan hing and marlene. and later, took a train to city hall after yan hing went home.

fanny, marlene and me at city hall!

after walking around at marina square, we're taking a break at mc cafe

2006-08-30T20:57:00.000+08:00

why was i so dumb to fall for such a stupid, dumb, brainless trick??? argh... my soul must have left my body then. oh wells. life goes on.

i'm so glad maths class test has been postponed. then i wouldn't need to cram for maths revision tonight and can just focus on doing my pride and prejudice written work.

teachers', i mean staff day is tomorrow! and the concert is just tomorrow too! aahhh... so fast! the last time i checked, it seemed like there were so much time before the concert performance on teachers' day la. anyway, i think this is more scary than performing on mardi gras. (i) cos you're performing in front of people you know and people who recognises you and (ii) mardi gras was outdoors and at night so it didn't seem that scary then. oh wells. looking on the bright side, we get to skip the first 2 lessons for tomorrow which is (ugh) maths lecture and maths tutorial. how interesting.
and i love our colourful costumes. i am so going on a major cam-whoring session tomorrow. =)

2006-08-19T22:47:00.000+08:00

i'm getting my bursary award!! =)
which means.. it's shopping time! yayy!
you may wonder how the heck do i get the bursary money with my sucky jct results.
its actually based on my o's results. yeah.
i hope the bursary people won't check up on jct.
they'll probably just faint or charge me for cheating their money.

2006-08-12T00:56:00.000+08:00

planet shakers was awesome! initially, the ambience of the entire place seemed too much like a pub, with purple spotlights in the otherwise totally dark place at max pavilion. but the place was hopping with excitement and there were bungee jumping! and we went and stood in between the crowds, relatively near the stage. we stood for around 3/4 of the entire concert. though tired, it seemed that the concert ended way too early. and planet shakers didn't even come back for a highly demanded encore. those are what's bad. :(

this may sound totally random but tooth extraction is a scary scary thing to happen and i hope i'll never have to do that in my lifetime. but i'm having a feeling that i might. imagine the pain. so strong that it jolts you from your sleep. :S

i think i'm tired. everything sounds abrupt.

2006-08-08T23:39:00.000+08:00

congratulations to kryshelle for winning the title of the FIRST NATIONAL DAY IDOL OF TJC!

i HATE to wait. i mean waiting for a few minutes is okay. but one and a half hours is crazy. i was sitting at starbucks and reading my pride and prejudice all the while. it was horrendous. and i'm still angry with her. its always like this. everytime we go out, she'll confirm plus guarantee to be late. correction: extremely late. its been 5 years and she hasn't changed one bit. i can name the one time when she wasn't late was when we set a rule that whoever is late by more than 5 minutes shall treat all 4 of us to lunch. and true enough, she was early that day. -.-" i mean, she's a wonderful friend, no doubt. but its this major flaw of hers that really gets on my nerves. and today, i called her at 10.15am and supposedly got her out of bed. when she said to meet at 12, i was really not counting on her to be on time. and so, when i called her at 12 at our meeting place, i half-expected her to be at most getting ready to leave house. but guess what? it's deja vu and i got her out of bed again. turned out that she went back to sleep and my guess is that she won't have woken up if i didn't call her. well, it's no surprise that she backed out on us on the last minute.
jiening met me as soon as she finished school and we watched click. the show is pretty funny. especially the ridiculously sexually high dog. it was sick la. but anyway, the story had a nice moral to it.

after national day celebrations, i had a lot of time to spare and i suddenly craved for this chicken rice that i used to eat all the time when i was very young. at least 10 years ago? that's the good thing about tj, its so near to my old neighbourhood and everything i was familiar with. so i made a 15 minutes walk to a market on the other side. thankfully this time when i went there, the chicken rice wasn't sold out. i still do recognise the old couple who run the stall together. and the food was really nice. but for some weird reasons, it wasn't as nice as i had known it to be. and as far as i can remember, it looked different now. just like the normal chicken rice outside. it was then that i realised that i wished things were old and how much i missed the past. probably because once you've been there to experience, to love and be so used to having, you never want it to change.

2006-08-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

literature critical appreciation
character study: me
theme - studies
plot - surviving junior college
motivations/desires - get promoted and complete college education
other characters - other nerds
narrative technique - nil

2006-08-06T01:06:00.000+08:00

i know its a bit late but i just found these pictures from aprie's blog.

a day where we celebrated world cup in school and we get to wear jerseys. i was wearing ding yi's jersey which was so big i looked like i was wearing a nightgown. :P anyway, we were in the lit room and we'd just finished our musical on pride and prejudice! =)
from left: simin, xin hui, aprie, me and kryshelle.

racial harmony day

taken in the toilet. during pw lesson. check out my uber cool face paint!

here's a close up.

drama-ing at the window. kryshelle beats us hands down. yeah. she's the prominent one in school for her BOMBastic hairstyle. hahaha...

just part of 34/06.

2006-07-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

i'm really depressed.
the weekend after i've made my decision and submitted the form to drop to h1 geog, mrs noordin said to me that the vp told her if i were to drop geog, i'll have to transfer to another class next year. and the only way that i won't have to change class is to drop to h1 econs.
but h1 econs is tougher than h2 and geog is my worst subject.
i seriously do not want to change class. its almost as if you've transferred to another school. everything changes. i've been there before and experienced a tumultous time in rss. its a feeling i never wanted to have again. leaving behind the newly formed bonds i've made this year and jutting in where everybody knew each other and formed cliques. imagine the first day of school next year, i would feel so lost and alone and unfamiliar with everybody.
shi min and marlene feel that i should drop geog and change classes rather than dropping to a tougher level of econs (what an irony) and struggle with it. both of them think that i'm the sort to make friends easily. but i don't know. its a really tough decision to make and i'm caught in it. i've got less than 24 hours to make a decision. actually i sort of have decided already. but i'm unwilling to face it.
i'm unsettled and depressed and messed up and in a dilemma.
this sucks.

oh God! please tell me what to do and show me your ways!

2006-07-30T00:10:00.000+08:00

ehh.. dunno what to blog about eh. i've lost my muse. the inspiration to blog. wahaha.. shakespeare in love is so nice.

no study = fail
study = no fail
study + no study = no fail + fail
by factorisation,
study(1+ no) = fail (no+1)
cancelling (1+no) on both sides,
STUDY = FAIL

cool eh? learnt it from aprie.

here's another one. let's see if i can still remember.

man = time x money
time = money
man = money squared
money = square root evil
evil = money squared
therefore,
MAN = EVIL

haha.. true isn't it? they aren't mathematically wrong eh. got this from one of the vandalised table in school.

2006-07-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

just my luck is so funny you must go watch it! haha.. it's 2nd on my list of must-have dvds. after she's the man. just the kind of movie i dig, right joanne? hehe.. after that movie i started liking mcfly. here's a picture of them.

and danny from mcfly. :)

i'm starting to like their songs too. mcfly acted in just my luck and thanks to joanne who sent me their song 'too close for comfort' and now i'm hooked onto it.

2006-07-02T23:47:00.000+08:00

youth sunday

the youths and our banner. :)

sacc youth challenge: girls' netball trophy!

2006-06-22T01:39:00.000+08:00

19- 21 june: chalet
chalet is so sinful. we sort of gambled all day. okay. we didn't place any bets. but mahjong and pokercards are like everywhere la. and on the first night, everyone slept for only around 2 hours.
oh. and i got to go wild wild wet for the first time! the slide up was super fun! i've been wanting to try that one for a long time and i did. and for like 5 times?
woke up on the last morning feeling very giddy as if everywhere around me was moving. xian jie says it could be due to the rides the day before. which i think is quite possible. and for that, i find myself dysfunctional. i know i can be slow at times but with a reaction time as slow as that can be quite worrying.
it took a nap to get rid of the mini earthquake tremours. speaking of earthquakes, i got reminded of geography. :( and geography reminds me of 5 other subjects which i'm still seriously lagging behind in the syllabus. and the revision. and the june common test.

there's just this guilt that kept pricking me for the past one month that i really should start studying the 5 months of work i've missed and all the time, either i feel really slack or i'll bluff myself with excuses that i'll work extra hard the next day. there had been lots of things going on for me during the holidays too but still, i procrastinated with what little time i had and where did the holiday go? only 5 days left to school reopening.
this year, the very mention of school reopening left me with the greatest and deepest fear and dread. you know the feeling you get whenever your holidays end and all that playtime had to be taken away from you, those late nights had to stop and holiday homeworks to be due? and how about the feeling you get when exams are drawing near and you have not finished your revision and know absolutely nothing about what everything is being taught and the fear of the exam weightage on your overall results that pushes and stresses you out? how would you feel if these 2 fears combine together? it felt deathly horrible. and the horridness adds on when the work of 5 months in 5 days is mission impossible. help. i need help.

2006-06-16T23:33:00.000+08:00

6-7 june: dance camp '06
we learnt salsa and lyrical jazz during the 2 days of camp. its the first time i got exposed to lyrical jazz and i loved it! its really the kind of dance i enjoy. if i'm not so tied up with tj dance, i would have signed myself up for lyrical jazz course. well, maybe after promos when i have more time. i will definitely go learn it. :)
got to know the year 2s better during the camp. i can't believe there wasn't even time for the year 2s to interact officially with the year 1s ever since the second intake. not sure about the first intakes since i wasn't there then. and after this dance camp the year 2s will be stepping down already.

11-14 june: church camp to tanjong puteri golf resort
there were only a few youths who went. and i stayed in a bungalow with sien, xin ling, evon, ding yi, lionel, ding cong and xl's mum. quite fun ah. no offence or anything. this church camp got me reminiscing about the old times when the chinese congregation youth used to hang out together.
anyway, the last night of the camp was the highlight. the day like really officially started at 11pm. it was after watching da chang jin and we, namely me, si en, xin ling, evon and ding yi were supposed to go to xin ni's bungalow to listen to our praise and worship night rehearsal recording together with the other adult worship team members. while listening, we would naturally start talking and we talked and listened to the recording for 2 plus hours. and we continued talking, or rather gossiping about a lot things until late into the night. hahaha... didn't know we would be able to talk so much and having so much fun with the adults. so we left the bungalow and went back to ours at around 2+am in the morning.
here's the thing. before we left the house, we made plans to sort of pull a trick on lionel. :P sien unlatched the kitchen door before we left so when we came back, we'll enter by the kitchen secretly and not let lionel know that we're back. but lionel suspected something already and went to the kitchen to check out what sien was trying to do. so anyway, the door was latched back on. sien opened the window and tried to unlatch it. while doing so, she forgot to keep low and the next thing she knew lionel was starring at her in the face in the kitchen. and she SCREAMED! hahaha... and all of us scurried all around OUTSIDE the house trying to escape from being seen by lionel cos we didn't know if he'll come out by the front door or by the kitchen. it was so exciting la. but come to thing of it. playing such games at that kind of time was kind of freaky. so eventually we got into the house and we hid inside a room together. finally when we decided to stop it with the trick, pretending as if nothing happened and walk right out. but lionel was nowhere to be seen and we didn't dare to go check.
we had planned to ton the whole night and we went up to me and sien's room to play cards. but we weren't really playing cos we were too distracted by the guilt we felt. the trick was kind of mean and he waited up for us till so late and he had bought donuts, though not sure if it really was meant for us. but anyway, we decided to go out to the living room, bring out some food to share with him, watch tv and invite him to join us. but he was already sleeping in his room. at around 3+am, we were watching the soccer match between brazil and croatia when lionel came out. it was pretty awkward and we tried to be nice to him. turned out that he wasn't angry with us nor was he freaked out by our joke. hmm.. alright. if he said so. haha.. :P
xin ling and evon finally gave up tonning and went to bed, leaving me, sien, ding yi and lionel to persevere on. then we started talking. funny how talking about juicy issues could keep us awake. and we did so all the way till 630am when it was time to wake the rest up. kudos to me! my first successful tonning experience! woo hoo! hehe.. even though i drank 2 cans of coffee, i kept on dozing off uncontrollable throughout the rest of the day. :X

16 june: nerds gathering
went kbox! after much of me insisting to do so. haha.. took neoprints. you know, the typical things we do when we go out. and the neoprint machine cheated us of one of our pictures! came out without even us in it. how annoying. tried to reason it out with the shop keeper but she just pissed us off.
then we went suntec marche for dinner. after much deliberation, van, pq and me decided to have rosti. cos i was SUPPOSED to be on a diet after the church camp when i had buffet for ALL 3 meals EVERY single day, on top of the midnight snack binging sessions we had every night. i mean, who could resist good food, especially when the occasion calls for it? YEAH. so apparently, it was another occasion today and i rarely go marche so its a good enough reason to indulge. RIGHT? :X
ethelyn dear gave me a necklace for my birthday! :)

2006-06-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

i've been feasting alot for the past 2 days la. and i gotta do something about it. maybe not to eat so much for the rest of the month or something. haha..
on saturday, we had buffet for breakfast and lunch. then dinner, wow.. the buffet was fabulicious la. i can't even begin to describe it. i ate until i felt like puking in the car after dinner. anyway, cin dee's husband is filthy rich. his family owns a plot of land and built 3 or was it 4 bungalows and they had a big garden where we had the tea (or more like feast) reception after the wedding ceremony in church.
then the wedding dinner today which was held at bliss garden, expo. the dishes are typical but nice la. and i have to say that the dinner is pretty boring. cos my sister and i aren't even close to our cousins. i couldn't even recognize or remember some of their names. 2 of which i haven't met them in years. so there wasn't much conversation going on. and i got to drink red wine. i like the sensation though its really bitter and the after taste numbs the tongue.

tomorrow is the k4's gathering. to celebrate our birthdays! hehe..

2006-06-02T23:29:00.000+08:00

attention: EVERYBODY should go watch she's the man!! it's so so funny can. i promise to buy the vcd once it's out. and channing tatum... *drools* wahaha.. never mind. just go watch it. it's definitely worth the money. =)

tomorrow is cin dee's church wedding! cin dee's the cousin from my paternal family. but not very close though. and on sunday, i've to go for her wedding dinner too. kinda excited cos it was eons ago since i last went to a wedding. anyway, i can't wait for mei chuen's wedding at the end of the year. she's my cousin from the maternal side and i'm much closer to her. it'll be more fun to attend her wedding. =) hey. i've got 4 weddings to attend this year eh. woo hoo! haha.. first, it's cin dee's, then mei chuen's, then emily and charles' and then pei ren and zi yang's. :D

tagged by vanessa to do this..

10 years ago I was : 7 years old. i was learning how to do mental sums.

5 years ago I was : 12. hmm.. finally leaving THAT school.

1 year ago I was : 16. chionging for o's.

5 snacks i enjoy: 1) shilin xxl crispy chicken! *yummy* 2) honey stars 3) butter cookies 4) potato chips 5) milk/white chocolate

5 songs i know all the words to: 1) majulah singapura (try singing this song for 10 years of your life and see if you'll remember it) 2) yi ge ren sheng huo (one of my favourite chinese songs) 3) twinkle twinkle little star 4) mary had a little lamb 5) lazy to think

5 things i would do with 100 million dollars : 1) fulfill all the items on my wishlist and those not in it too. wahaha.. 2) go travelling and more shopping! 3) donate to charity 4) buy a car for my future use 5) invest

5 places i would run away to: 1) canada (i heard life is pretty slack over there) 2) paris (the city of lights and probably romance too. haha..) 3) the place and era of gowns and balls 4) the place where studying is illegal 5) heaven

5 things i would never wear: 1) genuine leather (animals are being killed for it!) 2) punk getups 3) ah ma clothes 4) tattered clothes 5) suspenders

5 bad habits: 1) procrastinating 2) peeling my nails 3) scratching my pimples 4) indecisive 5) spending too much time online

5 biggest joys: 1) good hair day 2) enjoyable and satisfying conversations 3) accomplishing a goal 4) my hardwork paying off 5) meeting up with old friends and having a great time together

5 favourite toys: 1) barbie dolls 2) cabbage patch kids 3) polly pocket 4) diy atm machine 5) masas eg. fake pots and pans and meat and veggies.

5 fictional characters i would date: 1) scott from x-men 2) lee xiao lang from cardcaptor sakura 3) sailormoon's boyfriend forgot what's his name 4) cedric diggory 5) can i make an exception for channing tatum??

5 people i shall tag to do this: 1) kryshelle 2) aprie 3) christine 4) darren (here's another lobang for you! haha.. ) 5) xian jie (and you too.)

2006-06-02T02:17:00.000+08:00

it isn't easy looking for a blogskin which i'm satisfied with. this one is pretty nice. but still with some areas which i do not like. one day i'm going to learn html and create everything i want in a blogskin. one day. will that day ever come?

watched x-men 3: the last stand today. i love seeing the mutants display their powers, though i feel that the movie is pretty draggy. and kryshelle was so totally ogling at the guy with some ice power called bobby. haha.. yeah. her resolution to only have eyes for someone completely went down the drain. haha.. understandable. it's only a matter of how long it will last.

oh. i met ethelyn today! at tampines as i was sending kryshelle to the mrt station. finally. after such a long time. and she said she had been so busy that she couldn't find time to meet up with the nerds. there she was, going to meet her lao yu sheng for movie. as always.. forever so zhong se qing you.

i don't feel like i'm in my usual blogging mood. i'm just trying to find things to say. and somehow, my tone seems different today. i don't know why either. but i feel low. for reasons which i don't understand. well, i hope i'll feel better tomorrow. cos i'm finally going to catch a chick flick: she's the man! with joanne, jamie and probably evon.

2006-05-31T23:32:00.000+08:00

thanks to all those who wished me happy birthday. =)
but.
it hadn't been a nice birthday this year.
its all i can say.

*[d]ream ~ weave[r]*